so poof, vamoose sonafabitch.

i was laying on schwartz's grass in her awesome backyard.

too many vodka's had set in w/ the balmy sun and i was totally in my head about everything.
thinking of my life so far, what i want, how to move forward, how to get past loss, how i feel about my rebirth, my social life and how does one manage it while not ruining their face (vanity) and my palms started sweating, heart palpitating. here comes schwartz with a mini ipod beatbox. "wanna hear some music, dude?" she throws on some tunes and the first song to come up is the 311 song, "all mixed up". reminds me of being 15 when i first heard this song on live 105 and being all mixed up was becoming something of a fashion for me.

literally, sitting on the grass, watching the fauxphew drive his fake lawn mower around the yard, it occurred to me the lyrics of the song...

You've got to trust your instinct, and let go of regret. You've got to bet on yourself now star 'Cause that's your best bet

So that's what I'm gonna do...

The simplicity of watching this kid, laying on the grass in a quiet neighborhood at my best friend's house, career is going great, things are shaping up nice, I lost 10 lbs. and this kid, just born not even 2 years ago - he got the biggest kick out of playing with that faux-mower while it would have held my attention for 2 seconds before I was looking for my cocktail.

these are simple pleasures, small stuff...life is great again.

So I'm trusting my instinct, letting go of regret and betting on myself.

allow me to welcome you to the
Summer of Wynter,