play date

i had a spontaneous playdate w/ my fauxphew jack bartkus.


this kid means business.





in the total of 3 hours we played w/ over 20 different toys and i answered the question, SOLE question "is it working?" with "No" about 30 times before it was a triumphant YES.


"How bout now?"

we built what i've endearingly called " the jack d. bartkus water park and recreational activity center"


how do Mom's do it? i remember being his age, inquisitive, into EVERYTHING but what makes him different, and something I can identify with - we love our mom's and will obey their word and then punish them for it.


he's obedient, intrigued and knows how to use a screwdriver and install batteries. a son born of a gadget gangsta. he's amazing.

a couple times he punched, for no good reason, just because. schwartz leans into him " jack, say you're sorry..." "sowwwy wynta" ugh. heartbreaking, hearing a child speak. its the most beautiful thing in the world.

and his toys...dude, schwartz has given this kid a department store to play in...


i dont even know what the hell this thing is for...


but keeping up after this kid? worked the hell out of my thighs and abs. bending down and picking up and guiding around and chasing and ohmigod dont run into the street and o lord, you're hungry for wha-wha-what?? butter noodles? and juice? jeez kid, tummy of steel. what's that? is it ready? and he's clever that one..."hey...hows it going" he asks in broken baby english as he checks up on my ace toy building skills. "goin' great JD, just fine honey"

we played tents, i couldn't squeeze into this baby tent, but when he got in and started to close it saying "ok, thanks, bye." my cold brittle heartbroken heart...pieced itself back together and restored my faith that men are born gentle, women adoring warriors.

blame video games and carbs for their downfall.