ive probably seen "knocked up" 43 times.

it doesn't get old.

and even though i've never been pregnant, or had babydaddy drama, i still understand the idea of getting in a relationship with someone who is your exact opposite and developing a love for that person--even though they act like a total fucking idiot.

it occurred to me as i was driving home that this shit is hard. this "living" shit. no one falls in love to imagine their break up and possible ensuing divorce proceedings. its cliche for me to say, if i knew breaking up would be this hard, i would have never fell in love.

i think that every other day.

then i thought about writing about it here, because most people cower behind the mask of a happy fancy free single life. everything is bubbly and driving w/ the top down to gwen stefani and dancing, drinking and makeovers. yea i'm doing all that. but still.

AND how crazy is it now that babies and marriage are in vogue? all these pretty pregnant celebrities just getting knocked up and then have elaborate yet hushed nuptials behind opulent manses. SO. ANNOYING. its a fashion, just like stirrups and slap bracelets it will go away and then rear its head later on in the 20-teens. it wasn't "fashionable" EVEN 2 years ago for some of these assholes to be a parent. which means in 2 years i could be all eff it and become a career super bitch devoid of carnal instinct.

whatever, that's a basic instinct for me. as important as sight.

so now i'm obsessed with getting married and starting a family. to the point that i am starting to think of out clauses in the event this doesn't happen; freezing eggs, adoption, one night stand with someone incredibly smart and hot.

who am i kidding, i will get married, i will have kids. i am thinking too far ahead because basically if i had a baby right now, i'd be so screwed.

i am not a coward when it comes to falling in love, i will do it again.