avoid perverts

at all costs, they won't let you sleep and they won't take no for an answer.

i found this out the hard way about 2 weeks...don't let it happen to you.

its not fun, or funny. its wrong.

oh by the way...he told all his friends about it. that's not funny either.

grow up.

usually i'd be ok with the chatter, but something changed this summer - besides the blog which only a few people know how to access, i'm going to tone down my mouth. i'm not saying im a gossip, i just LOVE talking. especially about myself. and LOOOOOVE having an opinion, ESPECIALLY about others.

so the first time i keep it on the DL about someone, cause i didn't know how to feel about him, I've never dealt with someone having such a perversion, that i just kept it quiet.

quite honestly, i felt sort of violated?

but i wouldn't because he'd recognize that and then back off, for like 30 seconds...

no no no, its not allowed, no more.

im young enough to do it, but too old for it.

insta-date

had an insta-date on saturday.

an insta-date is when you are minding your business then a guy (or girl, for these purposes, a guy) approaches you and starts with the "business". "Hey there, you should give me your number" Ugh. Then you decide to do a date right then and there, whether its coffee or dinner or a bagel. from there its consummated or NOT because you want to see them again or NOT because its not gonna go anywhere AND you are not attracted to them.

dont know about you, but i generally give him the hand and move on - but this time i lingered because he literally went from bravado to shy in the span of 2 minutes. his game went to lame in under 120 seconds...he was intimidated! ugh I'm a bitch!

it was sad, cause maybe he's THE ONE and what am I doing! then he made a joke - so cute - a little joke about the fact that a nerd was blasting Vaudevillian muzak out of his beat up Honda. The guy says "I thought the Little Rascals were gonna come running after him"

That was cute, you must admit.

Well that was the extent of his charm as I later discovered. I invited him over for a glass of wine since he was funny and complimentary and I thought I could tolerate him for a minimum of 2-3 dates. I was feeling particularly adventurous, why not.

What does he do? Fucks it up within minutes...he ends up bringing over a comedy tape and proceeds to hi-jack my television with some of the most unfunny comedy I've seen in recent time. It was painful - and he was cackling for days.

Here's where he went wrong - can you spot it? He brought over a VIDEO on our insta-date. You're joking right - it not like we have been dating for a year now and shit is stale and the only thing to kind of hold our attention is watching this shit. I cannot really be watching you watch television right now...this is your life, this is that big moment - if I'm as pretty and smart and independent and funny and this is what you crave, need and desire cause you can't find it in LA, then I can't possibly have done anything to be less interesting in the time from come over to you arriving with a tape. Being nice I let him control the DVD for an hour - then I turned it off, but guess what, BEERFEST was on. Oh shit, Beerfest is on...kill power, KILL POWER. So he HAD to watch the tailend of Beerfest -this ends now- so I finished the night just like this...

W: Oh look at the time...
ID: Oh no! Hold on, I love this part...
W: I do too...so much that I'll pause it while I walk you out.

He grabbed his keys and wallet and we had an awkward hug - he drank most of my 2-buck chuck.

He texted me the next night at about 11 - "Hi" I responded "Hey, going to bed, have a great night" Then I shut off my phone. I awoke to this:

>:(


Holy shit, I know how to pick 'em.

That's the end of that.

i figure ive got one year...

...to do something big and wild before i can't be involved in the youngest people to do....whatever...under 30. then its a crap shoot and you either soar or suck. yes i admire my friends success. i have many friends who have reaped a lot of success. i appreciate their emotional support. i feel like perpetual little sister but that has propelled me to accept my fate. 29 is like RIGHT THERE. jesuchristo.

so...i guess i need to throw myself into something (my writing) - and get really passionate about (being a writer) it. take it (writing) somewhat more seriously than say what i consider serious now. my current passion, can i really get on another plane and go to mexico again at the urging of one of my best bestie's. i can be an insufferable brat and oh the grief that i give him (albeit with love!) he more than deserves 10 days away. i'm opting against. that's not realistic!

im focused on this election, the future and sarah palin, i'll be laughing hysterically at her shameless fall tomorrow. wow - is this really gonna happen. she's going to get blown out. we didn't fall for it! - my mom is protesting this over the phone to me when i call her to rehash the day's events. with mercury falling out of retrograde things are going back to normal? so she continues on about the collective "we" being the young people. she has faith in us, those under 30 to do the right thing. vote and be aware of the issues and what we are up against.

so sarah palin went through the slidng door of life and got the oliver stone version of "to die for". its what this whole situation surrounding her reminds me of - its the 80s. she has the boyfriend who suffered through all her magical whims and attempts at power and stardom - he loved her madly and got her pregnant as soon as he could. then she moves from multi-college graduate to pageant winner to sportscaster to super hockey mom to governor and now vice president? how dare we judge her and her life. her pregnant daughter and effably dorky babydaddy. the manicured pantsuits, the banana clip. we're making her nervous - shipping her off to big cities and making her pronounce countries and names only her dreams could conjur.
this lady is the american dream.

she's also the world's nightmare. what have we become. its my favorite chris rock quote: "are we that stupid america, that we'd fall for a trickless magician?!"

we did it before.

i ask you...

dont vote for this lady or that man.

we are already in a world of hurt. trying to live your best life should not be this difficult and our parents bore the brunt...

anyway...i have to tie it together - so i am focusing on making even MORE changes in my life - and that includes navigating my career into a narrow focus - success in my eyeline. really.
and as always honing my health. starting with the elimination of cigarettes. i just did it. third try, i think the charm. and just staying cuffless. to be perfectly honest.

Summer was fun but i think Fall is way more hawt.

:)

a: that.

q: what don't Homey play?

short and sweet.

i've been trying to start a business, and it was going really well until i started to think that i couldn't trust the person in which i was starting it with. i heard whispers, but ignored them because i thought people were being mean spirited. then things just started tumbling out that made me realize this girl is nuttier than a fruit cake sale on cell block A.

so i've ended my relationship with this person - cut and dry. it was difficult for me to get to this point - but i think about how i want my life to go and whom i wanted to be associated with. i want to be percieved as a creative person who may not have a business degree but i have a nose for it. and when i smell a rat, you get out of there by any means necessary like Malcolm.

i had to. and i dont like severing relationships. i also dont like to hear that my business partner is a scheming manipulative social climber. i dont want to live in an episode of Gossip Girl.

i dont like this girl - what i knew of her I did like, but there was too much noise and not enough defense from her end. i dont want the association with her. she is toxic and dangerous. i had to LEARN this slowly and even when i tried to approach it from a professional and mild stance, she jumped bad and put her thug on display.

the moral is, do not start or plan a business with someone you know very little about, or talks a good game. also, if they've had 5 jobs in one year...that deserves mad SIDE-EYE, son.
i want to use my mind and connections to move forward and my goal is to bring my friends with me. except this broad.

i've made my way out of this w/ minimal loss and incredible gain. i've lowered the toxic douchebag levels in my environment...and that's a good thing.

me and mcdonald's are over.

that goes for the BK lounge as well.

i ordered from rainforest pizza the other day, the first time in a while. small pizza and greek salad. the guy gets to my door and its the same douche who delivers ALL the time.

he's always WAY too excited to see me and lingers way too long...

this time, he asked... "what happened to your boyfriend??"

i literally groaned and rolled my eyes....

"um we broke up..." hands him 20 and I start to leave...

"really??? man, you were such a cute couple..."

"well, things happen. ok thanks!"

"yea...he seemed like a good guy and you're a good woman...it was always nice to see you two"

meaning, its not that nice to see you single, as one whole person, alone paying for your own pizza out of your own pocket.

"well maybe one day you will see him again...

"oh that's so sad, i'm heartbroken"

REALLY?
...
REALLY?

no, I WAS HEARTBROKEN. YOU just deliver my pizza and offer unsolicited commentary for 5 minutes. listen, i'm not a heartless bitch, small talk is one thing, delving into my wounds when i've managed to bandage, heal and lighten them is another.

just because i blog about it doesn't mean the pizza guy gets to be all up in my shit, so i kindly told him

"listen, thanks so much for your concern, but i'm watching the convention, its live, so have a good night!"

and with that, i will never order from rainforest pizza again. or any other restaurant delivery service in my neighborhood that harbors an obsession with my ex.

(warning: DONT let that sweet face fool you. he packs a mean right hook when tipsy and tested on Hypnotiq. But who am I fooling, so do I....)

the end.

pretty hate machine

what happens in vegas stays (forcefully) in vegas. i like to think I'm the kind of girl who can rough it when necessary, but this last trip to Vegas has proven that while I tow the line between modern girl of spoils and struggling wannabe, I have to make a decision about which way its gonna go. f'reals. I'm either the Eliza Doolittle/Shug Avery/Holly Golightly for the brown girl set or I's isn't.

See: I left the driving to Greyhound and that was a MISTAKE. The lowest of the low, scummiest of the scummy. I'm not even for a little bit the kind of girl who looks down at people with her nose way high up in the air. Even w/ my job being what it is and the awesomeness associated with it, what I get exposed to, blahblablah, I never let myself forget that when I go home, I put my pants on, one leg at a time, and DONT make gold records. i dont care how much you schmooze, and get hooked up...or how many celebs you drink the night away in close company of, i have to manage this lifestyle on MY salary. and that aint much.

I was literally shaking as I left the yard watching my car through the nasty window. I checked my neck every 1/2 hour, fearing some vagrant would go for the jugular. I was approached by a homeboy who pledged that his 9to5 as the Vons lead bagger was not paying enough and he'll be in Vegas to Monday at the Best Western if I wanted to stop by for a drink. Yeaaaa....no. Flying is a hassle for me, I'm a spoiled airline brat and w/o my Daddy's benefits I'm useless. Unfortch, LAX to LAS is not a priority for Delta and therefore, no flight really fit my schedule. I took control of the stench with incense and stink eyed every single person boarding. my bag of nickels never leaving my side. (note: a bag of nickels will knock out a potential rapist, aggressive beggar, and terrorist, amongst other things)

Cut to Sunday, my return to the bus station for the ride back to LA, lets just say...there was an altercation of some sort and I am now banned from the Greyhound station as well. (Previously, I was banned from the Wynn for "alleged" buffet theft) The foghorn leghorn sheriff reminded me, without looking me in the eye, (a clear sign of "Jesus christ, I love/hate this fucking job so much but this is what I do and then I punch my wife later-itis" ) said "This is the wild west, and this is how it goes.." WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT STATEMENT IS THAT. If I go to customer service and walk away unhappy, in the real world in 2008, i can write a letter and get my money back. THERE i end up arguing with 4 to 5 ignorant ass people simultaneously. If there was an Olympic sport in verbal jousting I would have disappointed my country. I couldn't and would not compete with this ghettorazzi swarming around me as I dont know anything about living below the poverty line. They won, un-fair and un-square. Fine. The benefit is I dont work there, I dont HAVE to take Greyhound and ultimately I dont need to associate myself with that kind of drama anymore. Growing up I was pulled out of school every other friday to jaunt somewhere for a shopping trip in some major city around the US, taking the Greyhound was my way of relaxing instead of being on a plane. WRONG. Just file that under "dont do that shit ever again"

Meanwhile, there's so much NOT to tell we all know how Vegas is, its just pure fun. a lot of laughter, lots of dancing, pole swinging, wave pooling, party buckets, candy, room service, ogling, boob flashing, debauched recanting of hilariously vile tales.

we acted like fools, kids in a candy store. we rawked it, we got pissy, ate crap, worked on our collective alcoholism, spent $ we didn't have or need to, (i) gave the hand to bouncers, ghetto ass bus employees and sleep was scattered in there. each night the need for sleep became more dire, each night i grew crankier and crankier...nightly i reviewed the movie "very bad things" in my mind, OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

you know the deal, wyn doesn't skim on the lavish when she can swing it...suite was phat, dinner at Koi for the birthday boy and lap dances for EVERYONE! club, afterparty, booty bouncin' on stripper poles, poolside at various casinos, i made new best friends...no, not the strippers...

what does escape me about about Vegas now that I've been twice in a summer: how the hell did Tupac die on a fight night? I sneak a danish from the buffet, I'm banned from the Wynn - he gets in a riotously explosive brawl with several negroes and is shot on LV blvd and nobody saw a damn thing. that is rigoddamndiculous.

where is ja rule to make sense of all this?