exit strategy

oh please, there's always a contest with an ex-, its called "who'll die miserable".."
- samantha, sex and the city, "easy come, easy go"

saw the movie. of course i did, you crazy? like i could miss it for the world. i brought sas and jenn with me to watch. we had italian food and wine, me saddled w/ food poisoning from a beverly hills cafe i had to drink seltzer and nurse my colon. so upset!

then we get to the theaters and its filled to the brim w/ queens and chatty kathy's. meh. only seats avail were in front. oh man, my neck, my back, my stomach. this isn't starting well...
movie begins and im SOOO excited. they're back-- mah girls. so big, so vibrant so MAYJAH.
i love this show, i love this movie more...that is..until...jennifer hudson.

people say i look like her. a lot of people. i dont really think so, but at least she's an oscar winner. girl can SANG but i am cuter and well proportioned.

oh, no, wait...her storyline? "she's from St. Louis." That's fine. Millions are..."and a web designer moving to the big city for work and for love" why did she leave STL? "Because her boyfriend told her she wasn't the one" And God said "HA". I'd been waiting for this movie, for nearly a year and on the two month anniversary of his abandonment, they drop a plotline in as if it were talking to me and me only. i let out an AUDIBLE sigh during this revelation which drew a few snickers. if they only knew why I was a sighing. why i was suddenly losing interest in this movie, looking at my watch - thinking about how i had a whole other hour to deal.

you didn't miss the joke - my ex is a web designer from St. Louis. meh. think what you want, i was upset. and guess what, i have been doing GREAT until that and then enter the waterworks. the movie itself was fab, a solid B-. things i would have added, i wont spoil here, but otherwise, the experience was ruined by irony and my uppity colon.

with that, i've given up smoking. the girls said i needneedNEED to start formally disassembling my feelings for him. i cannot do that at a drop of a hat, so ive started letting go of habits that have built up over time. more drinking, more smoking...

so i will go 4 days in between booze
and distance myself at least a month without cigs.

that's the only exit strategy i can think of at the moment.