dear ben affleck

me: excuse me, ben affleck?
ba: yes, beautiful girl. your hair looks so pretty. how can i help you?
me: you are like my dream guy. minus the whole obnoxious phase with j.lo but i forgave you for that because honestly, if i dated j.lo. im guessing i would have acted the same way. i don
ba: go on
me: i mean, i love that you are bilingual, and a reader and a gamer and you like to gamble but you tinker with cars and motorcycles but you are SO focused on politics then you've got that wife of yours but also you are hot and i've loved you since i was 14...anyways...
ba: aren't you cute...
me: me? pshaa...you're the cute one. its so loud here! can we go somewhere intimate, other than invesco field...jen wont mind will she?
ba: who?
me: exactly.
ba: i want to steal away with you and shirk this whole hollywood lifestyle
me: oh no..dont say that! you wouldn't!
ba: baby, i would. i'll take you to my island-
me: you have an island!!?
ba: shutup
me: ok
ba: take you to my island and let you and the kids eat mangos shoeless while i move pork bellies
me: mangos? why mangos?
ba: this is your fantasy. im sensing you'd like a segway too?
me: well yea. and that pink diamond you gave j.lo? but in a pendant
ba: let me get my blackberry...i need to take notes
me: id like a green home on the baltic sea and one on star island
ba: fine.
me: thats it.
ba: pink diamond, green homes, segway
me: MANGOS
ba: mangos...got it.
me: this was easier than i thought ben affleck.

what is: what i imagine will happen when i finally meet ben affleck.

possibly this week.

cause im going to the convention

there will be photos.